Such a poetically expressed description of the real essence of smoking: it makes you feel like you're special somehow. The addiction is not the worst part of giving up, it's this idea that you'll no longer be who you are, the rebellious, poetic, ever so slightly deviant, artist.
99.999% of it will pass, in time. Eventually you'll only have these feelings a few times a year, for example when you read an especially poetic post by someone on the internet who quit recently :)
I sympathize so much. Drinking helps us be social, but smoking is part of the impossible cool, the kind that hangs out under neon and plays billiards at the local dive until 2am. It's almost irresistible. I always hated the smell, even when I smoked, and the way it stuck to everything. But I couldn't resist the breakfast of champions (coffee and a cigarette) or how it made my voice into the exhausted gravelly that I wanted (even though I lost a few high notes), or the smoke deep into the dusk when you're alone in the rain (which, yeah is exactly what you said).
But it's worth it. It's so worth it to be free of it; to not be out of breath climbing the subway stairs, to not constantly be checking for the closest door to the outside in any situation, to not lose your mind because you've been in the airport for 3 hours and there's no way in hell you're going into that disgusting smoker's room.
Sorry for the length, didn't have time to make it shorter. And, good luck.
Well... To a nonsmoker guy, it enables kissing, so depending on whether or not you think kissing adds to, or detracts from, sexy sex (I could see an argument made for either), it may or may not be sexier, lol
I remember years ago starting smoking again after quitting for a year and thinking "the real me is back". I've since given up for good, almost 10 years now, and have put that frame of mind deep in the past where it belongs. The new me will live longer.
I also have recently stopped smoking. My left hand started to feel numb and that scared me too much. I have thought of ways to get around that late-night feeling. I figured out that I need a new addiction, but without side effects. So I joined a group where they teach dancing to trance music, something I wanted to do all my life. I am the oldest there, but not the worst. The people are nice and not complicated. I wish this was an everyday thing, but unfortunately it is just once per week. I think I will do more of such things in the future.
I hope you find some new hobbies too, which make you feel better, late at night.
I've been what you're going through. It seems that smoking was a big part of your character, and now there's a new you, the "challenger". While it's easy to miss the "old you", try to build upon the new one. It comes with its own perks - the ability to make yourself do impossible things. That's called discipline, and you just unlocked it.
"The Buddhists think you don’t quit addictions, you become a new person who isn’t an addict."
I just started James Clear's book on habits, and that's a big part of it. You don't go "No thanks, I'm trying to quit", you go "No thanks, I'm not a smoker".
If something doesn't become part of your identity ("What choice would a healthy person do in this situation?"), then it becomes very easy to revert back because your identity pulls you back.
Captured it perfectly.
Such a poetically expressed description of the real essence of smoking: it makes you feel like you're special somehow. The addiction is not the worst part of giving up, it's this idea that you'll no longer be who you are, the rebellious, poetic, ever so slightly deviant, artist.
99.999% of it will pass, in time. Eventually you'll only have these feelings a few times a year, for example when you read an especially poetic post by someone on the internet who quit recently :)
I made myself consider smoking as self harming. That allowed me no choice but to see as retarded. I quit over night for good.
I sympathize so much. Drinking helps us be social, but smoking is part of the impossible cool, the kind that hangs out under neon and plays billiards at the local dive until 2am. It's almost irresistible. I always hated the smell, even when I smoked, and the way it stuck to everything. But I couldn't resist the breakfast of champions (coffee and a cigarette) or how it made my voice into the exhausted gravelly that I wanted (even though I lost a few high notes), or the smoke deep into the dusk when you're alone in the rain (which, yeah is exactly what you said).
But it's worth it. It's so worth it to be free of it; to not be out of breath climbing the subway stairs, to not constantly be checking for the closest door to the outside in any situation, to not lose your mind because you've been in the airport for 3 hours and there's no way in hell you're going into that disgusting smoker's room.
Sorry for the length, didn't have time to make it shorter. And, good luck.
> Is this even sexy, are we serious?
Well... To a nonsmoker guy, it enables kissing, so depending on whether or not you think kissing adds to, or detracts from, sexy sex (I could see an argument made for either), it may or may not be sexier, lol
I remember years ago starting smoking again after quitting for a year and thinking "the real me is back". I've since given up for good, almost 10 years now, and have put that frame of mind deep in the past where it belongs. The new me will live longer.
I quit in '76. Went from 3 packs a day to none. About 2001 I realized I had quit dreaming about smoking. But I still know why people smoke.
I also have recently stopped smoking. My left hand started to feel numb and that scared me too much. I have thought of ways to get around that late-night feeling. I figured out that I need a new addiction, but without side effects. So I joined a group where they teach dancing to trance music, something I wanted to do all my life. I am the oldest there, but not the worst. The people are nice and not complicated. I wish this was an everyday thing, but unfortunately it is just once per week. I think I will do more of such things in the future.
I hope you find some new hobbies too, which make you feel better, late at night.
Love from Leander from Germany
I've been what you're going through. It seems that smoking was a big part of your character, and now there's a new you, the "challenger". While it's easy to miss the "old you", try to build upon the new one. It comes with its own perks - the ability to make yourself do impossible things. That's called discipline, and you just unlocked it.
"The Buddhists think you don’t quit addictions, you become a new person who isn’t an addict."
I just started James Clear's book on habits, and that's a big part of it. You don't go "No thanks, I'm trying to quit", you go "No thanks, I'm not a smoker".
If something doesn't become part of your identity ("What choice would a healthy person do in this situation?"), then it becomes very easy to revert back because your identity pulls you back.