I've lost my father in 1987 when I was 15 for a melanoma.
Losing a father is always terrible for a boy, but losing him at 15 is even worse. It's the age when you start to match up your system with the older generation's and those "father to son" talks sparkle up to give you those advices you need to face up your oncoming adult age.
I was lucky to meet many people who could give me those advices without - obviously - becoming my "father in charge". I never looked for another father, but those advices were more than helpful, even though I didn't always follow them. I've been lucky to have many excellent masters in my lifetime but I've always been a nasty pupil.
In the next 34 years I've been witness of many marriage breakups. I tried to learn something from them: one of the wisest things that my father told me was "intelligent people learn from somebody else's mistakes, normal people learn from their own mistakes, stupid people can't learn from both of them."
I am stupid, as I didn't learn and my "marriage" (even though we never got married) broke up too some years ago.
But there's a thing that maybe I've learnt through and through.
It's a matter of fact that, biologically, a woman can have children (if there are not serious health issues about it) while a man can not.
I experienced in women of my generation the weird conception that a man - intended as a father of their children - can be disposable. When they feel their biological call to their mothership, they can have sex with a man they like, whatever he is. And then at last they've got their baby. But they seldom think to that man as "hell, he's going to be my children's father". It seems that in in their conception of family life children can survive without a father, that a father is a sort of luxury good you can do without.
Well, if you have not a father because he met an untimely end, or he decided to leave your family, it's just the cruelty of life.
But not having a father because your selfish mother chose for you that you didn't need one is one of the worst affectional crimes you can commit against your children.
If you think that your children can live harmlessly without a father, please do ask me, and I'm gonna tell you how good it can be.
I've lost my father in 1987 when I was 15 for a melanoma.
Losing a father is always terrible for a boy, but losing him at 15 is even worse. It's the age when you start to match up your system with the older generation's and those "father to son" talks sparkle up to give you those advices you need to face up your oncoming adult age.
I was lucky to meet many people who could give me those advices without - obviously - becoming my "father in charge". I never looked for another father, but those advices were more than helpful, even though I didn't always follow them. I've been lucky to have many excellent masters in my lifetime but I've always been a nasty pupil.
In the next 34 years I've been witness of many marriage breakups. I tried to learn something from them: one of the wisest things that my father told me was "intelligent people learn from somebody else's mistakes, normal people learn from their own mistakes, stupid people can't learn from both of them."
I am stupid, as I didn't learn and my "marriage" (even though we never got married) broke up too some years ago.
But there's a thing that maybe I've learnt through and through.
It's a matter of fact that, biologically, a woman can have children (if there are not serious health issues about it) while a man can not.
I experienced in women of my generation the weird conception that a man - intended as a father of their children - can be disposable. When they feel their biological call to their mothership, they can have sex with a man they like, whatever he is. And then at last they've got their baby. But they seldom think to that man as "hell, he's going to be my children's father". It seems that in in their conception of family life children can survive without a father, that a father is a sort of luxury good you can do without.
Well, if you have not a father because he met an untimely end, or he decided to leave your family, it's just the cruelty of life.
But not having a father because your selfish mother chose for you that you didn't need one is one of the worst affectional crimes you can commit against your children.
If you think that your children can live harmlessly without a father, please do ask me, and I'm gonna tell you how good it can be.